Saturday, January 30, 2016

I Want..., Katy Comber

The Heaviness of Time
by Katy Comber

Lights up. Tiny studio apartment. All owned furnishings are sparse, neatly laid out, and visible. Two 30 somethings walk around in the loft as if in a routine synchronized and perfected over many years. The man stops abruptly, and turns around to face the woman.


Julien
I want--


Rita
No.


Julien
I want--


Rita
Julien stop. You don’t-


Julien
I want--


Rita
Don’t cut me off! You know how I feel about that.


Julien
But, I--


Rita
You don’t know what you want, Jules. That’s the problem.


Julien
Oh, oh right. I get it. You know what I need to say. You’re trying to stop me from saying it. From saying how much I want--


Rita
You’re right. I’m not ready. I’m stalling.


Julien
Really?


Rita
Yeah. I can’t do it.


Julien
Okay.


Rita
Okay.


Long pause. The two look at each other and begin to laugh.


Julien
Steak for dinner.


Rita
What?


Julien
Steak for dinner is what I want. I just had to get it out there.


Rita
That’s not what you were going to say.


Julien
How do you know? You kept cutting me off.


Rita
That’s not what your face was saying. Your face was not saying Steak Dinner.


Julien
You can read my face so well.


Rita
I can.


Julien
Because you know me. Well. I know you. Well. We have been friends for decades. We’ve been in love for years. You can tell my steak dinner face from my I yearn for something that terrifies Rita face. By the way, may I ask? Why are you so afraid?


Rita
Dinner is about all I handle at the moment.


Julien
Just tonight. Just now. Not a lifetime of dinners. But one dinner at a time. Perpetually, we will have dinner, but we must not speak of it as a continuous occurrence as it has been for five years now. We must not think about the amount of time accrued, passing, and yet to come. One. Day. At. A. Time. Right? Yes? That is what you need. That is what I give you. But, see, I have a need too. I have a need to tell you that this is it for me. I need you to know that I’m here without any intentions of--


Rita
Stop.


Julien
--going--


Rita
Stop.


Julien
--leaving--


Rita
Stop.


Julien
--abandoning.


Rita
Stop!


Julien
I am here.


Rita
And I am here. Asking you to stop. I don’t care about what you need to say. I realize that is harsh. It’s truth. I. Don’t. Care. That was a beautiful speech. So eloquent and loving. It was the perfect thing to say--to someone else. To someone who can listen to your heart and accept it. I am not that person. I can’t be that person. Time is too heavy. Too overwhelming. If I feel that the word, Life, is too precious of a gift for someone like me to receive, what about the actuality of that word? If I can’t bear to hear it, why would you assume I could bear to receive it?
Do you really need me to know that you will give me this gift of time? This commitment? Oh, don’t look so shocked. I can say the word. Commitment. Is it that you want me to know it, or that you need to know it from me? You need the promise more than you need me to hear it. That’s what you really want. Selfish.
I told you after Sam. I told you that I could never-- Now, you stand there. Joking about a lifetime of steak dinners. How could you? Do you know what you have done? I believe you do. I believe you knew that once you said those words, I would run. You want me to release you from this--unknowing. But, guess what?
Even if we vowed words and said the things everyone wants and expects us to say, everything would remain unknown anyway. It is all farce. It has to be. For a world in which my brother Sam, my favorite person in the whole world, can dive out of a 30th story window because he saw a swimming pool instead of 45th street... For that kind of world to exist and for you to stand there with your need of a future? I’m sorry. This promising of growing old together. Promising of lifetimes. Don’t you see? What hubris to believe that we can promise our futures. Now. That is all we have. Here. Now. Nothing more than that. You can not ask me for more, because I wouldn’t dare presume to ask you… This. This is all I can give you.


Julien
You are a prisoner in a 24 hour chamber, and the memory of Poor Dead Sam is your warden.   


Rita
Yes.


Julien
I love you.


Rita
I know.


Julien
You love me?


Rita
I do.


Julien
I want more.


Rita
I want you to have more.


Julien
But not with you?


Rita
No.


Julien
Okay.


Rita
Okay.


Julien
Steak for dinner? Pause. Last meal.


Rita
Okay, then.


Julien
Champagne too.


Rita
I’ll run to the store.


Julien
Come back?


Rita
Probably.


Julien
Right.

Rita leaves for the store. Julien pulls out a suitcase from the front hall closet. Tosses a few things inside and takes a ring box from his pocket. He places the box next to the clock set on a side table by the door. Julien looks around the loft for the last time and leaves. Lights out.

Strange Girl on a Train, Katy Comber

The Dream House Chronicles, Part 1: Lights Up, Lights Out
by Katy Comber

The 5:05 R5 from Paoli to Philadelphia rattled forward and then shuddered to a stop. Three businessmen stared down at screens and with muscle memory motions minded the gap and found their seats without much of a glance up. An extraordinarily tall, trench-coated man with freckles across his dark nose and a neatly trimmed white beard ducked into the train car behind them with inspective look around at the other R5 travellers. Then, a petite college student with flowing black hair, a girl the businessmen had peripherally eyed appreciatively moments before, skipped on and sat down next to an elderly black woman with a complex knitting project. No one heard the girl whisper to herself, Lights up.


“Hi!” the girl’s southern draw pronounced the monosyllabic word like a song.  
“Hello.” the woman clipped, “first train ride in Philadelphia?”
“Yep-- how’d you know?”
“You are trying to make conversation. People don’t usually do that on the early morning commute when they are regular.”
“Oh. Well, that’s sad. I’m visiting my sister. She goes to Penn. She’s going to be a doctor…” the girl continued her chipper rambling about her sister until the woman’s blessed stop. It had only been a ten minute ride for the seat-mates, but the woman already knew about Clementine’s sister Frida’s brave venture across the Mason Dixon line and ambitious journey away from their home in Tallywog, Alabama (population 3,015 most of which were somehow related to Clementine). Clementine decided to follow in sister’s footsteps and go for a liberal arts degree at a small college in St. Davids.
“Good luck, Clementine.” Ellanorah chirped as she packed away her knitting. The car door opened and a uniformed employee appeared to help Ellanorah down the steep stairs to the platform. Clementine’s right hand shot out, and her wide eyes, friendly and warm, indicated that she wished to say a proper Goodbye. Ellanorah shook her head and laughed as she shook Clementine’s hand. What a strange girl.


As the woman left, a stocky university rugby player named Davis Gibson hopped on and though he had a couple of options for seating, he choose the seat next to the beautiful coed seated three rows from the door. She seemed a bit nervous as she swept her black hair into a neat bun on top of her head. Maybe it was her first train ride, and Davis could make her feel comfortable. She looked like a ballerina.


“Hey.” He quipped like the greeting was a private joke they shared. His eyes crinkled as he shot the girl his best dimpled smile.


“Oh! Oh, thank goodness it’s you.” The girl’s heavy French accent and worried expression, took Davis by surprise.  


“Do I know you?” he choked back. The senior’s college years of questing after women and accolades had been a blur. This was not the first time a woman recognized him without Davis having a clue about her.


“No. But can we pretend that you do? Here.” the girl pulled Davis’ arm around her and smiled brilliantly back at him. Her green eyes sparkled with adoration and between her clenched grinning teeth she whispered, “I am being followed.”


Davis looked around the car. One of the businessmen who had stepped on the train at the same stop as the girl was studying the couple with a dazed and disappointed expression, his left hand’s third finger was slightly indented by an invisible ring. Once Davis caught the man’s eye, he squeezed the French girl protectively, and nodded upward in the man’s direction. The man coughed and put his hand into his coat pocket. Seconds later, the man’s hand reappeared. The golden ring glittered in the light of the rising sun.


“I see. You’re safe with me, honey.” Davis peered down into the girl’s eyes. Were they really green? Or blue? The fact that he was catching the train back to campus with a gorgeous girl after an awkward one night stand with another flattered Davis. He was the man. “Why do you think this man following you?”


“I have something in my possession. Something that someone wants.” The girl opened her clutch and presented a flash drive to Davis. “If it gets in the wrong hands…” she gulped.


“Okay. Okay.” Davis comforted her. Oh, Shit. This is like a effing Bourne movie. Davis couldn’t believe his luck. A beautiful foreign girl, a mission impossible-like scenario, his dreams of being in the FBI one day, this was insane. Adrenaline pumped furiously through Davis’ veins as Daphne explained how her boss Frida Castry helped powerful men obtain secret information. The next stop, Davis’ stop, the businessman lumbered off the train and Daphne shot Davis an appreciative grin. She slipped the flash drive in his pocket along with a business card that was blank except for a phone number in small font and a series of coordinates jotted on the back in red ink. He was to call the number and arrange for a drop off. Davis flushed as the girl pecked him fondly on the cheek and whispered “Au revoir, Davis. You have saved me.”


The extraordinarily tall man with freckles across his dark nose and neatly trimmed white beard ambled down the aisle to the newly emptied seat by a fresh faced girl letting down the bun that had perched neatly atop her head. She was giggling to herself and jotting down notes into a marbled composition book.


“This seat taken?” the man asked.


Startled, but not alarmed by the sight of the looming man as most seemed to be, the girl responded in a cockney accent, “‘Elp yourself.”


“Are you ready for the day, my friend?”


“Are you talkin to me? A’right. I guess. I got ‘hree ‘ousees to clean that I’m not quite up for, but a girl’s gotta do, you know?”


“Well. A housekeeper. That’s a respectable position. Good hard work. I’m guessing your wages are… under the table?” The girl blinked in response. “Maybe you could help me. I have a job that requires a woman of your stature. In fact, you’re the perfect height…”


“Look mate, I’m not that kind---”


“Oh, no. Nothing like that. You’re beautiful, and as helpful as that is-- no. I’m a magician, you see.” The man produced a card from behind the girl’s ear. “And I’m in need of someone to, uh, distract the audience and fit in small spaces.”


The girl laughed. “This has been the best train ride of me life.” The man looked down at her curiously. “Nothin’ forget it. Yeah, yeah, that sound ‘ight up me alley. Give me the address to your shop and I’ll do me best.”


The train stopped, and the man got up. “This is me. Here. This address. 3:00.” The man tossed an origami swan into the girl’s lap, ducked his head, and hopped down the stairs of the train before the girl glanced down at the intricately folded card in her lap. As she unfolded the card, a familiar address uncovered before her eyes, and she began to laugh.
*****


Three church bells chimed down the street from 443 East North Street. The brick building towered and cast its shadow over the girl curiously observing its gothic structure. Frida Starling breathed deeply and opened the door. Voices shouted and whooped in the direction of a winding staircase marked “Stage Entrance.” A bewildered Davis paced before her in the lobby of the theater.


“Daphne! You’re here! The woman on the phone told me to come to this theater, but no one knows--” Davis stopped short as Frida grinned at him. “This. This. Was a joke?” he sputtered and cursed.


“I’m not Daphne. My name’s Frida actually. And, I promise. I’ll explain everything,” Frida’s speech rang clear and her Daphne accent was gone. She grabbed Davis’ right hand and shook it. “You, my friend, have saved my life. You have no idea.” Instead of dropping the boy’s hand, Frida pulled him along in the direction of the stage and swiped the flash drive from his pocket without the boy realizing a thing. As Davis looked around, he noticed a couple of other chagrinned and bewildered people standing awkwardly behind a group of loud and exuberant actors telling tales about The Grand Preliminary Exam and the mysterious instructor who had assigned the task.


“Everyone! Take a seat. Except for you three. Thank you for participating and your service. Here.” A small woman appeared dressed as a magician’s assistant. She handed Davis and the two other guests a program for an upcoming show with two free tickets attached. The woman smiled brilliantly and the three men looked dumbfounded in response. It was a promotion? For a theater company. Interact with some actors and get tricked into coming for a play? “You may exit from the back of the stage; the doors will lock behind you.”


Davis looked around at the other two non-actors. They were being dismissed by the booming voice in the shadows of the audience. Frida caught Davis’ eye and shrugged apologetically as he trudged away. Then she turned and squinted through the stage lights to see a familiar form rise up to stand as Davis and the others shuffled upstage toward the back theater exit. An extraordinarily tall man with freckles across his dark nose and a neatly trimmed beard strolled to the stage.


As the victims of an apparently harmless grifting exercise/theater promotion walked behind the curtain, the three men strolled silently to the stage door that emptied into the alley behind the theater, and then Davis stopped. He touched the inside of his pocket. No flash drive. Duped and infuriated, he felt as though he deserved more of an explanation. The other two seemed oddly fine with the adventure they’d already experienced. They also seemed relieved to go back to normalcy.


The two strangers looked back and waved off the boy who couldn’t just let it go as Davis swooped back through the door before it closed. Locks clicked behind Davis as he crept in the direction of the rafters. Once he climbed into position, he peered down at the tallest man Davis had ever seen. He could see Frida sitting in the front row and jiggling her foot in wild anticipation.
“Welcome. All of you. Welcome agents, to your training. Six of you completed the first task; implant information into a civilian with a simple story about Tallywog, Alabama. Four of you were successful planting the flash drives and retrieving them with the information they captured at the assigned coordinates. But, only three of you completed the third assignment. Those of you who failed to bring a civilian today step onto the stage.” Four nervous agents slinked forward and took their places onto the wooden platform. As they stood, the man paced behind them. “These are the people who failed,” one of the men let out a groan, the woman next to him began to whimper, and the tall man continued, “Failure is not an option.”


“Failure is not an option.” The remaining class in the audience chanted back.

Davis squinted. Something, or things, had risen from the floor and began to crawl up the legs of the four men and women who had not completed their mission. The screams pierced upward.


“When agents fail, they are no longer welcome in the program,” the man continued as the former agents dropped to the ground. The man whistled and the pitter-patter of ambling creatures clicked across the stage to the man. The creatures looked up expectantly at their master. One of the eight-legged creatures licked a drop of blood from its tiny fang. The man pointed to his foot and the creatures raced to obey and sit by the extraordinarily large boot. The boot raised and stomped the creatures into dust. They had served their purpose. The four agents who lay collapsed on the floor crumbled into dust just as the creatures who bit them. A small, hunched-back woman scrambled onto the stage and swept the all ashes into a dust bin and then lurched away to complete other housekeeping duties. Davis noticed something familiar about the old woman. Her ragged dress, it looked as though it had been a dazzling uniform of a… The magician’s assistant, but that… that was impossible.


Frida and the other two agents watched, expressionless. As Davis peered down, he wondered how the woman who had looked so lovingly into his eyes hours before could be so remote. Frida felt the eyes of the stranger she had conned on the train. She looked in his direction and blew him a kiss. Her smile was one of Daphne’s, beautiful and fragile. The smile was her parting gift as something flew in Davis’ direction. With her kiss, Frida unleashed a flying bite with its gentle blow. The eight-legged creature, a baby compared to the others who premiered before him, landed softly on Davis’ neck. And as an enamored Davis grinned his best dimpled, eye-crinkling smile back at the lovely Frida, the creature began to eat.


Lights out.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Love Letter, Katy Comber

Love and Grammar
By Katy Comber


Sean Thompson loved Marin Thomas with a sweet unconditional love that can only find root in the innocent heart of a ten year old kid. He fell for her on December 12, 2012, the day of the fifth grade spelling bee. She beat him (and won) with the word celestial, c-e-l-e-s-t-i-a-l, celestial. Sean cracked a joke that Marin might as well have spelled the word’s synonym: M-A-R-I-N. Marin flicked back her auburn hair and rolled her blue eyes in response, and he fell. Hard.  Love like this could either grow to bloom through consistent affirmation of the admired’s perfection or wither and die from neglect and distraction. Marin’s character and intelligence from that fateful day of 12/12/12 to the day Sean Thompson was sentenced to death by humiliation, only conditioned first love’s root into a blossoming devotion that not even the hedgeclipper of adolescence could tame.
The next year, and the years following, Marin and Sean sat one in front of the other in every class. Only until sophomore year, however, did they talk after class about assignments and what they did over the weekend and the gruesome nature of Mondays. The topics seemed predetermined by the laws of high school. Life experience had conditioned Marin to not speak about anything but the generic around boys in general. Her first and last ex-boyfriend, an exceptional small-talker, dumped her for a girl who understood the importance of weather-related conversation. Without the conversationalist tamer by her side, Marin let her freak flag fly around people she loved and trusted. Everyone else, got the dull stuff until they earned something better.  
The reason Sean and Marin didn’t speak until sophomore year was two-fold: For one, Sean never quite knew what to say until Reason 2, Mr. Schreiber, came along. The infamously nightmarish Schreiber usually tortured the brilliant but too lazy for AP English, seniors. However, after the original sophomore English teacher’s nervous breakdown and immediate resignation on the second day of school, Mr. Schreiber and the rest of the English department agreed to take on one sophomore English class until the district hired a suitable replacement. Budget cuts.
“Thompson,” Mr. Schreiber smiled. That smile. His first warning. One did not want Schreiber to smile at him. Sean straightened up in his seat and out of his reverie. The strange constellation of freckles on the back of Marin Thomas’ neck caught his attention as if they could tell him his future. “Repeat the sentence without using passive voice.”
Passive voice? What the hell was passive voice? The constellation of freckles didn’t seem to know either. The ominous sentence on the board told Sean his future better than the constellation he’d studied mere seconds ago.


The passive voice exam was failed by over 80% of the sophomore class.


“Eighty percent of the sophomore class failed the passive voice exam.” the constellation whispered. Sean repeated the sentence back a bit louder to Schreiber’s wolfish grin.
“Very good... Thomas.” The class chuckled and Schreiber’s grin disappeared, “Thompson, pay attention. Your assignment this week, and every following assignment, will be graded for content, grammar, and lack of passive voice. Any linking verbs will result in an automatic 5 point deduction. Twenty or more of those, and you might as well not turn in anything at all. Your first assignment: A letter describing yourself and your intentions in life. Two pages, MLA format. If you don’t know MLA format by now, go sit with the freshmen students and have them teach you.”
Schreiber’s words modulated in the garbled language spoken either underwater or in times of the listener’s extreme embarrassment. The bell signaling the end of class sounded far away as if it rang in the parallel universe in which Sean Thompson would survive high school.
“Hey.” The word, crisp and clear, broke through the sound of blood rushing to Sean’s face. The word, belonging to the girl Sean Thompson loved, started the age of Small but Infinitely Large Conversations with Sean and Marin. The word, one that broke the ice since that disastrous joke four years ago, began a friendship.
*****
Months later, on a Sunday night two weeks before the end of the year, Hans Schreiber sat in his study. The assignments of sophomore active voice conquistadors, stared up at him. Before he began, red pen in hand, Hans looked up in the direction of the foyer. A vision flashed by the coat rack of a 24 year-old tying a scarf, his scarf, around her neck. The memory, brief and fleeting, caused a stirring in his heart.


Nice scarf.” he said.
“This way, you can come with me.” she said, grinning in response.


The last moments with his wife haunted him at the oddest of times. When he turned eight, he fractured his wrist in a roller skating accident. Everytime it rained, the damn wrist would twinge with pain. Moments with grief, even after years of loss, did that too; except they hurt like a bastard even on the sunniest of days. Thompson’s essay peeked out from under a pile of others. The kid showed promise. Goofy as all hell, but the kid could write. Three pages attached to the essay topic: What I Must Say Before Summer. Three? These weekly essays had a maximum of two pages, MLA format, no more, no less. Tucked under the staple, a neatly typed letter stuck to Thompson’s essay:


Marin,


I am sitting here trying to figure out the best way to answer The Scribner’s essay topic for the week. But all I can think about is everything I want to, have wanted, to say to you...


The Scribner? Hans smiled at the kid’s nickname for him--he’d seen worse. Then, he lifted his pen, stared for a while at the last place he spoke to his wife, and began to write.
*****


Monday morning, Sean Thompson woke with a start. Today. Today he would give Marin Thomas the letter that said everything he needed her to know. Marin. The girl could throw a pun or twist a phrase better than anyone he knew. She loved the Beatles catalog and could recite the Periodic Table of Elements while standing on her head. Everyday of their friendship, Sean and Marin became more and more inseparable. The letter might change things, but Marin needed to know one thing. Someone loved her. Someone, without the obligation of family ties or the superficiality of love at first sight, absolutely, without a doubt, adored Marin Thomas. The letter was right th…
Where was it? Holy S- No. Where? Did it go? No. No. NO. NO! The last time he saw the letter it was in his English folder tucked safely behind his essay for The Scribner. What if it fell out? What if she already had it? Picked it up without knowing that she held a grenade of the powerful unsaid? Sean cursed again. This could not happen. Sean took a deep breath and recited Pi to the 13th digit. It must be… in his locker! Yes. His locker.
Moments later, a defeated Sean sat behind Marin Thomas in The Scribner’s classroom. The belief that everyone in his room could hear the anxious and heavy thumping of his heart caused a flush of red race up his neck. But Marin didn’t say anything about the letter before class began. Instead she slipped him a drawing of purple cows sitting in a diner drinking coffee.
The Scribner cleared his throat and began passing papers before Marin could explain the idea behind a drawing she obviously worked on over the weekend. Three pages landed on Sean’s desk. The Scribner’s voice rang through Sean’s head:


Two pages, MLA format, no more, no less. And if you don’t know MLA format by now....


The third page dripped with red ink. Comments like, “No passive voice, Thompson!” “Girls appreciate better sentence structure!” “Thomas would edit this as she read, and you know it.” surrounded points off for fragments and circled passages highlighted his weak informal writing. The last phrase, “Re-write for Seniors next week,” glared up at him.
Next week, a select few sophomores had to present their best essays to the graduating seniors who shared the experience of the Hans Schreiber classroom. The sophomores in Sean’s class received an unprecedented level of respect from the Seniors, and only five received the paradoxically coveted and feared comment, “Re-write for Seniors.”
As the week flew by, Sean lived with a pen in his hand. He addressed every comment The Scribner wrote, every editing mark fixed, every suggestion considered, and then he added more. This letter not only declared love for Marin Thomas, it declared love for the English language.
By Friday’s presentation, Sean knew he had something phenomenal, and despite his trembling hands, Sean Thompson did the bravest thing anyone in that auditorium thought possible.
“Dear Marin,” Sean’s voice carried throughout the auditorium. Marin Thomas listened to Sean Thompson’s words and tattooed them to her heart. Senior girls beamed and gushed in Marin’s direction. Senior guys sat in awe of this tall, lanky sophomore declaring his love with a Schreiber essay. Some wanted to say that the kid had game, but the sincerity behind the essay titled “What I Must Say Before Summer Vacation,” stopped them short. 


Hans Schreiber stood in the back of the auditorium and leaned against the doorway. As Thompson’s essay tumbled forth, Schreiber saw a vision of a woman in her husband’s scarf, his new bride with dark hair tossed in a messy ponytail, rosy cheeks, and nurse’s scrubs venturing out to work despite the icy roads. In that moment, Hans Schreiber allowed himself to remember the girl he fell in love with: the first grader who needed him to hold her hand on the first bus ride to school, the girl in eighth grade he nearly tangled braces with while answering the question what would it be like to kiss my best friend, the ambitious senior who suggested waiting for the inevitable pre-college break up until after their last prom dance, the nursing student he bumped into and fell in love with all over again on a public bus thousands of miles away from home. Then, Schreiber shook his head and chuckled to himself as he observed the reaction in the auditorium. Thunderous applause. Marin Thomas racing up to hug the boy who wrote out his heart and shared it with their world. The kiss said it all. Marin Thomas appreciated decent sentence structure.